The following essays were among the best produced in Joel Friederich's ENGL 101 class at Yokosuka.

Western countries in today's world are more progressive and adaptive than many nations, especially the developing countries. America, as one of the progressive nations, has seen almost all of its traditions fade and has adapted to new ones. America, also as a powerful nation, has influenced many countries in terms of its lifestyle, but most of these countries have tried to maintain some traditions which they would pass over to their next generations. In marriage, when it comes to raising children, doing household chores, and making decisions, the Ghanaian society has rules and methods different from those of the American society because progressivism has played a greater role in American traditional marriages than it has in Ghanaian traditional marriages.

American society has more restrictions as to who brings a child up, who is supposed to discipline a child, and how a child is supposed to be disciplined, than Ghanaian society. In Ghana, children are raised by either parents, mostly the mothers, or relatives. Also, children belong not only to the parents but to the community as a whole. For that matter, when a child does something wrong, any elderly person around can punish the child, and the punishment given is mostly physical. The parents of the child would later look for that elderly person and thank him/her for correcting their child on their behalf. Ghanaian society believes that caning or beating a child is the best way of disciplining the child. However, in American society, children are brought up by only their parents, and more often than not both are active in bringing up the children. Again children in an American society cannot be punished by any member of the community as in Ghanaian communities. The parents of the child will sue anybody who beats their child for whatever reason. Unlike Ghanaians, Americans do not believe that physical punishment is the best way of correcting a child. They believe that talking to the child is the best way. I remember an instance when I visited my American friend, Sharen; her daughter was talking rudely and shouting at the top of her voice at her. I expected Sharen to beat or discipline her daughter as a Ghanaian mother would have done, but she was rather calming her down.

Secondly, the phrase "household chores" is understood by Ghanaians as one of the woman's duties in marriage, but it is understood by the Americans as the whole family's duty. Doing laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, and the general cleaning in the house are entirely the woman's duties in a Ghanaian marriage; until she is lucky enough to have a grown daughter or daughters, she does them all alone. Conversely, in an American marriage, both husband and wife do shopping, laundry, cleaning, and cooking together, or either of them does it alone if the other is busy. For example, my husband and I do cooking and laundry together when we are here in Japan, but when we travel back to Ghana, although he wants us to do these things together, I do not allow that because we would be the topic of the day in our community. Much of the blame would be on me for turning my husband into a woman. Whereas in Ghana they call a man who does house chores a woman, in America, they see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Finally, decisions are made by men in Ghanaian families, but in American families they are made by both. In Ghana, husbands are often the breadwinners of the families. Therefore, they are the head of the families and the decision makers too. The woman and her children always have to ask permission from him before they can go ahead with whatever they want to do. The husband, in addition, controls the finances of the family. Again, he determines the number of children they should have in the family. On the other hand, in an American family, both husband and wife control the finances regardless of who makes the money. Both have equal right over it. Husbands do not rule their wives, and both have the right to do whatever they wish without necessarily asking for permission from the other. In addition, both husband and wife come to an agreement as to the number of children they should have. Again, taking my husband and I for example, before I joined him in Japan, he used to visit me in Ghana, and whenever he was around, he made decisions without consulting me. I did not know how much money he had or how he spent it, but after I joined him in Japan, I had access to his account, and now I know how much he spends. Moreover, he now asks me for my opinion on any decision he is taking whether concerning both of us or just him alone.

As a result of these conflicting lifestyles in marriage, Ghanaian couples who lived in America and have adapted to its lifestyle find it extremely difficult to fit back into the Ghanaian society when they decide to return to Ghana. The Ghanaian society tends to look at them as strangers because their lifestyle is not that of Ghanaian's. The Ghanaians believe that their marital lifestyle is the best, while the Americans also believe that theirs is the best. It doesn't matter whether you choose to live a traditional lifestyle such as Ghana's or an American lifestyle so long as both of you, husband and wife, are in agreement and happy about your choice of marital lifestyle.